I've spent almost a month in semi-seclusion. I've done my normal chores and done things with my family... but as for going out with friends, I've really not. And that is most unusual for me. I've declined coffee and lunches and avoided calls and texts. But next week, I am going to have to re-enter society whether I like it or not.
It's been a good time... I threw a great Solstice Party for my family:
Then there was Christmas... lowkey, but most of the players (my son's girlfriend didn't get to join us) were there. Then we went out for a movie (The Hobbit) and dinner (Chinese).
Of course there was New Year!! The boys and I rang it in with Sparkling Cider... I made all the traditional dishes; Hoppin' John, collard greens, corn bread and pork loin... along with homemade macaroni and cheese just because my guys like it. I also did a small "releasing" ceremony...
Yesterday, I did a little "candle spell". I know some of this stuff just sounds hokey and superstitious. However, I find it no more superstitious than forming prayers to some unknowable deity or reading a text that is supposedly infallible and has "all things that pertain unto life and godliness". And I've decided if I'm going to interpret or misinterpret divinity, it is going to have to be something within me. Otherwise, I feel I am just abdicating personal responsibility.
I have taken a long break from the Sunday Morning Newsies. I will probably begin watching them again with some regularity, and I've already begun to catch up on my favorite podcasts:
Best of the Left
And my newest favorite egg-headish type podcast:
The Partially Examined Life Philosophy Podcast
As for my intentions, I have realized just how disconnected my head and heart are. I've whined and moaned here for the past couple of months about a particular heartache. I (don't quiet) understand that this broken connection is partially to blame for the ache I have (am) experiencing. I am going to try to reconnect these two emotional organs in the early part of this year. I recognize that this may mean tears (something I hate to do almost as much as I hate vomiting), it may mean voicing opinions that I've swallowed (along with food and alcohol) and making others angry or uncomfortable with me (too bad).
Another thing I want to focus and dream about is discovering passion. I want to know what I want and what I want to do. I want to be filled with excitement and a reason to get up and get out.
So that's what's up with me.
Happy New Year!!